Parody Song: ‘The Nursing Home Song’

I don’t know if you remember, but one of the projects I worked on with my friend and collaborator Juan Carlos Hernandez was a comedy review called El Grande de Corona, which was a collection of skits – some musical, some not – loosely connected to the COVID-19 pandemic and other stuff that went on during that weirdest of years, 2020.

I came into the project rather late in its inception, and the only thing I could think of writing was a parody of Paul Anka’s theme song for the 1962 war film The Longest Day. I worked on the first version for a while – I don’t remember how long – and then sent the lyrics to Juan and his wife Adria for their approval.

As often happens in the movie biz, the song did not make it to the final version of El Grande, but Juan did not throw the lyrics away. Instead, he saved them for a live performance of a comedy review that he and Adria will perform in selected venues (nursing homes, I think it is) for New York area residents,

Of course – and this also is a common occurrence in show biz – projects start out in a rough-draft version, then get tweaked and finessed so that it works better before an actual audience. It happens to plays, it happens to movie scripts, and it happens to songs, too.

Here, for those of you who do not live in the Greater New York City area and won’t get a chance to see Juan and Adria perform this in person, is our revised version of The Nursing Home Song:

The Nursing Home Song

(The Longest Day” Paul Anka)

By Alex Diaz-Granados

Juan Carlos Hernandez

Many folks came to retire

Many folks came for the tea.

Many folks have indigestion

From the dinner they serve at three.

Many folks are bored already

Many folks are getting rude.

Many folks want this to end now

Or they’ll start to Bingo in the nude.

Chorus

The longest days, the longest days

In Nursing Homes, the longest days

Full of woes and full of masks

Full of coughs and now with hacks.

Many folks they blame the Donald

Many folks blame the Chinese

Many folks praise Dr. Fauci

In the longest days in history.

Chorus

The longest days, the longest days

In Nursing Homes, the longest days.

Applesauce and Cottage cheese

And all the Gelatin you’ll ever see.

Many folks want to see family

Many folks need to be seen

Nursing Homes need more attention

In the longest days in history.

You can listen to the song here by hitting the PLAY button below.