I didn’t plan on writing another post today, yet here I am, sitting at my desk while my digital copy of Spotlight on John Williams plays on my Amazon Music app. It’s strange – I didn’t want to spend more time in this room, yet I couldn’t choose between reading out in the living room, watching a movie – not Maid in Sweden! – out in the family room, play a computer game, or watch a movie or TV show on my small – by comparison to the “big TV” in the aforementioned family room. Instead, I played Solitaire – which I’m sure would have pleased my late maternal grandmother and mother, who both played the Klondike version of that card game – till I got hungry and heated up leftovers from last night’s dinner.
It is still hot outside; the temperature is 86 degrees Fahrenheit/30 degrees Celsius under partly skies, but the heat index, even as I write this at 7:18 PM Eastern, is 90/32. When I was younger or had more motivation to walk in the early evening, I would venture out for at least one 20-minute-long circuit of the block around East Wind Lake, the man-made body of water at the heart of our gated community, East Wind Lake Village.
(In the summer I’d limit my walks to one trip around the block, which I could complete in 14 minutes if I walked at a fast pace and didn’t tarry to talk with neighbors along the route. In the cooler months, I’d stay out longer unless an Arctic blast of a cold front made its way down to South Florida and it was too chilly to be outside longer than 20 minutes.)
Here in Lithia, late summer days when it doesn’t rain are so hot that even sitting out on the front porch is something I avoid. If it’s not the heat, it’s the mosquitoes and no-see-‘ums that get to me, although to be fair there are fewer of those pesky insects in this part of Fish Hawk Ranch than there were in East Wind Lake Village. Today it’s the heat; a heat index of 90 degrees F/30 degrees C this close to nightfall might have been tolerable as recently as 2015, when I still lived in Miami, albeit in the wake of Mom’s death and the beginning of my estrangement from my older half-sister. Now, in 2022? Not so much.
Well, at least I ate dinner. Last night I ordered a personal pan pizza with pepperoni, some breadsticks, and an oven-baked pasta bowl with pepperoni, Italian sausage, and sweet tomato sauce because the Caregiver is in a rush to date again after the death of her last boyfriend and is meeting men she finds on a dating app – but doesn’t think that I might get hungry between the time she leaves and when she comes back.
If we had an electric stove, being left to fend for myself would not be a problem. I know how to cook, and even if I just want to fix something quickly and easily – like scrambled eggs – I could…as long as it’s on that kind of stove. Alas, we have a gas stove, with knobs that are so fragile that I’m afraid to turn them lest I break one. (How do I know this? Because it happened to me not long into my settling-in period in May of 2016.)
I can use the oven without any issues, but I looked in the freezer and it was stocked with food that the Caregiver and her adult kids like, but I don’t. There wasn’t even a Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza on hand.
So, I had to order from Pizza Hut even though it’s expensive – including the driver’s tip and delivery fee, my rather modest order set me back $27.95. And since the Caregiver is either in her bedroom, looking at her phone and chatting with her suitors or out on a date, she has become rather uninterested in my well-being. So even though I ate my personal pan pizza last night, I saved some of the pasta bowl and breadsticks for tonight.
I still have no idea how to spend my evening. I don’t want to play any of my computer games tonight, not even the sexy ones I bought last month, and choosing what to watch is not easy when I don’t feel particularly happy or, at least, content with my lot.
Decisions, decisions. Ugh.
My choices, as I see them, are:
Play computer games
- Watch a movie or TV show on home media (I currently have over 500 titles on high-definition Blu-ray, 100 on 4K UHD Blu-ray, and 240 on DVD)
- Watch something on the streaming channels I can access on my personal TV set
- Read out in the living room
- Listen to music while playing Solitaire
Well, I’m sure I’ll pick something soon. Right now, though, I must wrap this post up and publish it, or else this will be tomorrow’s blog entry!