Hi, Dear Reader. I’m off to a late start with this post – a later start than I would have liked – so I apologize in advance for the lateness of this blog post. I didn’t oversleep and wake up at noon, nor did I go out to run errands or for that matter, to have any kind of fun, either solo or with friends. I slept normally, rose at the usual time window of between 6:30 and 7:00 AM, and I didn’t have any disturbing dreams about Vicky, Vladimir Putin, or Pennywise the Dancing Clown.
Hell, I even had my usual cup of café con leche. And a packet of Quaker Instant Oatmeal, to boot.
I am having a tough time with my writing, though. This is my third attempt to create a post for A Certain Point of View, Too since this morning. The first post got to the three-paragraph mark before I read it, reconsidered the topic and – especially – the tone, and scrapped it.
The second attempt didn’t quite get that far. After working for 45 minutes on it and noticing it wasn’t flowing, it, too, got the Ctrl-Alt-Delete treatment. Again, neither the subject matter nor authorial voice seemed “right,” so, goodbye, Blog Post Draft #2.
Anyway, as I sit here late on a Tuesday afternoon at the tail end of August, I notice that we are having a “typical Florida summer weather” day. It was sunny and brutally hot for most of the daylight hours, and now, while it’s still hot outside, it’s so dark outside that I had to turn my lamp on to see my keyboard and thus avoid making too many typos. There’s also thunder in the not-so-far distance, so I will have to log off my computer soon and go read out in the living room for a while.
I usually don’t have this much of a hard time when it comes to blogging. With other writing projects or genres, such as screenplays or prose fiction, yeah; it seems that my environment and emotional state both play roles in whether I can work on something from start to finish or not. When I’m content and at peace with my immediate surroundings, I am optimistic, full of ideas (whether they’re good, bad, or meh is a matter of debate), and positively productive. Heck, back in 2019 I came up with the idea for a screenplay – a short one, mind you – while I was taking a shower.
In 2022? Not so much.
Sure, I can and do come up with one, sometimes even two blog posts in one day, and according to WordPress, I have been writing at least one post per day for 775 consecutive days, including the post you are reading. That’s over two years’ worth of writing without even a one-day vacation. It takes a ton of self-discipline, but it’s also part of the daily routine, and since it’s a low-to-no-stakes “project” in the grander scheme of things, I can do it.
Other than that, though…
I lack focus. I procrastinate – a lot. And even on days when I am feeling “creative,” ideas come to me at odd hours of the day, then vanish – POOF! – as soon as I sit down at my desk and boot up my PC. Or I’ll start on something with a modicum of enthusiasm that if it were turned into a packet of taco sauce, it would be labeled “MILD,” then run out of creative steam before I’ve written the beginning of a chapter in a novel or the start of a script’s opening sequences.
Heck, even movie reviews, which I have been writing since I was 17, are not as easy for me to produce as regularly as they used to be.
Writing seems to be So. Fucking. Hard.
I mean, when it takes three tries to produce a “simple” blog post, that means my writer’s mojo is running low and close to Empty.
Thank goodness that I’m not a huge fan of booze, because if I were one, I’d be hitting the bottle so hard that Ernest Hemingway’s ghost would be appalled.
I need, at the very least, a Muse to inspire me.
Right now, I’ll settle for one good day when I am content, at peace with myself and my surroundings, and my creative mojo is back near Full.