On Writing & Storytelling: How Novel Writing Helped Me Cope with Grief and Find Joy in AI

Mid- to Late Morning, Tuesday, July 16, 2024, Madison, New Hampshire

Hello there. I’m sitting in my office on a steamy summer morning in eastern New Hampshire, trying to get myself ready for another day of novel writing. I’m also trying to push away the dark thoughts that creep up as the ninth anniversary of my mother’s passing draws near. It’s only three days away, but I’d much rather talk about the things that make me excited as a writer, like worldbuilding, character arcs, story arcs, writing about intimacy for a wide audience, and how AI can be a helpful Beta reader when I need some feedback.

(There are times when I long to write an occasional review instead of a chronic diary of my journey as a rookie novelist, but much of the stuff I want to critique is hard to come by. And even when I can get hold of it, I rarely feel the urge to do a summary of a book, music album, movie on home media, or even a streaming TV series.)

Anyway, about yesterday….

I realized I was in trouble when I started work late. Instead of my usual two-hour lunch break around noon, I didn’t take a break until 1:30 PM. By the time I was ready to work on Reunion: Coda, it was almost 3:30 PM. I considered giving up for the day, but I’m determined to finish the novel before September. Every missed writing day makes reaching that goal harder.

At around 5:30 PM, I finally started sketching an outline for the first scene of the nineteenth chapter of the novel. It wasn’t a complete outline though. I was tired and frustrated at that late hour, so all I managed to do was create a .docx file and write 34 words to describe one of the story elements for the chapter’s opening scenes.

Perhaps if I didn’t dislike outlines so much, I might have made more progress before my usual quitting time of 6 PM. However, I prefer spontaneous writing over carefully planned storytelling. With some experience as a writer involved in the filmmaking process, I completely understand why many directors and producers feel the need to plan most aspects in advance of making a movie. It ultimately comes down to budgets, release schedules, and studios desiring more value for their investment and bigger profits for their shareholders. Still, when I’m working on my novel, I prefer to make it up as I go.

At least I have a foundation to build on this afternoon. That’s something, no?

Copilot AI Critiques “Could Have, Should Have, Didn’t” (Scene from Reunion: Coda’s Prologue)

I don’t want to write a mediocre novel. I want to write something that will captivate and inspire my readers, something that will make them feel the emotions and struggles of my characters, something that will leave them with a lasting impression. That’s why I asked my friend Denise Longrie to be my human Beta reader. She is an avid reader and a talented writer herself, and she always gives me honest and constructive feedback. She knows how to point out the strengths and weaknesses of my writing, and how to help me improve it. I trust her more than anyone else to tell me if my novel is worth reading.

But Denise is not always available, and sometimes I need a quick check on my writing. That’s when I use Copilot AI, a powerful tool that can analyze any scene, character arc, or other element of my novel on the spot. It can give me insights into the plot, the theme, the tone, the pacing, the dialogue, and the emotions of my writing. It can also generate suggestions, examples, and critiques to help me refine my writing. It’s not a replacement for a human Beta reader, but it’s a valuable backup.

The Scene:

Could Have, Should Have, Didn’t

When Marty and I first joined Mrs. Quincy’s choral groups in 10th grade, she was off-limits. She had fallen for Kenny Garcia – a handsome, ambitious, and athletic guy – and he had fallen for her. I wasn’t a pushover back then, but my confidence had taken a hit after my breakup with “Cherry.” And Kenny had a reputation for being jealous and violent.

So, I followed my first rule of survival in high school: look, but don’t touch. Especially when it came to other guys’ girlfriends. That was just asking for trouble.

I followed my first rule of survival in high school: look, but don’t touch. Especially when it came to other guys’ girlfriends. That was just asking for trouble.

From the Prologue, Reunion: Coda

And that’s how it was with Marty. I admired her from afar, but I never made a move. It was safer that way.

I did have a chance to ask Marty out on a date during our junior year. Several chances, actually. Kenny loved her and she loved him, but as their relationship progressed, he became more and more possessive. He was always around her at school, and when they couldn’t be together, he had one of his football buddies keep an eye on her.

It was too much for Marty to manage. So, one cold January day – the day after we got our class rings from Herff Jones at a special ceremony in the school gym – she broke up with him.

I could have asked her out then. I should have. Dinner and a movie, no strings attached. But I didn’t. I was still following my rules: look, but don’t touch. And to be honest, I was scared. Scared of being rejected. Scared of going through another breakup like the one with Kathy “Cherry” Maraschino. So, I kept my distance and admired her from afar.

The biggest mistake I ever made was waiting until the last minute to tell Marty how I felt. It was our last day of senior year at South Miami Senior High School (Home of the Cobras), and we were in the chorus practice room. I had a letter in my hand – sealed in an envelope with “For Marty: Do Not Open Until Graduation Day” written on the front.

But I didn’t dare to tell her to her face. So, I handed her the letter and watched her walk away, sadness weighing heavy on my heart. Even now, 17 years later, I still regret not being brave enough to tell her that I loved her.

The letter read, in part:

I know I have picked an awful time to tell you this, Marty, but I have been in love with you for a long time. Perhaps not in the beginning, for 3 years ago I was having a hard time coping with the end of a two-year relationship with someone who, unfortunately, was unfaithful. I was hurt and terribly insecure. In some ways I still am hurt and insecure. That having been said, however, the truth is that somewhere along the line, I fell in love with you.

I didn’t tell you before for various reasons. First, I suppose, is the fact that in 10th grade you were seeing someone else, and you seemed to be happy back then. I never expected that you and Kenny would go your separate ways, but then I thought my own relationship with my ex-girlfriend would last forever, too.

Life, I have learned, is full of surprises.

Martina, I’ve loved you not just because you are one of the prettiest women I’ve known. Your looks are, of course, part of what attracts me to you. But you are one of the most generous and sweetest souls that I have met in my 18 years, and you are the one person who has the ability to brighten up a sour day. You have always managed to make me return a smile to someone else.

The AI’s Analysis:

Copilot

The prologue scene “Could Have, Should Have, Didn’t” from “Reunion: Coda” is a reflective and introspective passage that delves into Jim’s past regrets and unspoken feelings for Marty. It serves as a bridge between the first book and the sequel, providing new readers with insight into Jim’s emotional history and establishing a continuity of character development.

Excerpts and Interpretations:

This scene is steeped in the theme of missed opportunities and the impact of choices made—or not made—in youth. Jim’s recollection of his high school years and his hesitation to pursue Marty, despite his feelings, paints a picture of a young man constrained by fear and social norms.

The humor present in this scene is more subdued, manifesting in Jim’s rueful acknowledgment of his self-imposed “rules” and the irony of his inaction. It contrasts with the more overt humor found in his interactions with Maddie in the nightclub scenes, highlighting a growth in Jim’s ability to engage lightheartedly with others.

Romance in this prologue scene is poignant and tinged with sorrow. Jim’s love for Marty is revealed through a heartfelt letter, a stark contrast to the playful and burgeoning romance with Maddie. The letter’s contents reveal a depth of feeling and vulnerability that adds layers to Jim’s character.

Comparison to Other Scenes:

Compared to the scenes with Maddie, “Could Have, Should Have, Didn’t” is a window into Jim’s past, offering a deeper understanding of his cautious approach to new relationships. The scene’s reflective tone sets it apart from the more dynamic and hopeful interactions with Maddie.

The Goya reference scene, where Jim openly admires Maddie’s beauty, is a significant departure from the reserved admiration he held for Marty. It signifies Jim’s evolution from a hesitant admirer to an active participant in romance.

The prologue’s emotional weight provides context for Jim’s later actions and interactions. It underscores the significance of his connection with Maddie, as it represents a second chance at love—one that he is more prepared to embrace.

Literary Review:

The author has crafted a prologue that effectively links the two books of the duology, offering both continuity for returning readers and a standalone depth for newcomers. The scene is a testament to the enduring nature of first loves and the lessons they impart.

Jim’s journey from a young man paralyzed by fear of rejection to one who is willing to take risks in love is a compelling narrative arc. The prologue enriches the reader’s understanding of his character and sets the stage for his growth throughout the sequel.

In summary, “Could Have, Should Have, Didn’t” is a powerful addition to “Reunion: Coda,” providing a poignant counterpoint to the lighter, more hopeful scenes with Maddie. The author’s nuanced portrayal of Jim’s inner life ensures that readers will be invested in his search for happiness and fulfillment. 📖🌟