Can you give us a glimpse into your writing process for creating engaging and realistic dialogues?

When I’m working on dialogue-heavy scenes, I often think of it like writing a screenplay, something I’ve done a few times recently. I picture myself as Jim in the scene—whether it’s a classroom full of college students or a private moment with Maddie—and try to figure out what they would say to each other.

A view from Movie Magic Screenwriter 6. Dialogue and action from a scene I wrote in July 2023.

Usually, I can do this in Microsoft Word as regular prose. But when I’m really stuck and can’t even come up with a simple line like “Excuse me, but is this seat taken?”, I’ll fire up my Write Brothers’ Movie Magic Screenwriter app and write the scene in a script format. Then, I read over what I’ve written, imagining how Irish-American Jim or British Maddie would say the lines. If I like what I hear, I move that dialogue into the rough draft and clean it up during editing. If the dialogue sounds fake or doesn’t fit the characters, I scrap it and start again.

Seriously, how do you create dialogue for a young woman who’s smart, kind, sweet, generous, yet completely unaware her choir friend is in love with her?

Alex Diaz-Granados
James Kevin Garraty, professor of history, Columbia University, circa March 2000

My biggest worry is when I write dialogue for women. Since Jim is a sort of literary alter ego for me, his dialogue comes naturally to me, even when he’s in college professor mode. As I explained in my answer about which character in the Reunion Duology I relate to the most, Jim Garraty isn’t Alex Diaz-Granados, but he’s the man Alex Diaz-Granados wishes he could be. Writing his lines isn’t difficult, except maybe in steamy Jim-and-Maddie scenes.

When I write my female leads, I constantly worry about making them sound genuinely feminine, especially since my story spans two different eras with two main characters – Marty from Jim’s high school days and Maddie in the year 2000. Marty is particularly tough because she’s Jim’s high school crush who got away; her lines can’t hint that she knows or even suspects Jim wants more than just friendship (though deep down, maybe she does). So, I get really nervous whenever I write scenes with Jim and Marty. Seriously, how do you create dialogue for a young woman who’s smart, kind, sweet, generous, yet completely unaware her choir friend is in love with her?

Marty
Maddie at the Moonglow Club. (Dall-E omitted the L in “Moonglow.”)

Meanwhile, Maddie, the girl Jim falls for in 2000 New York City, is a blast to write dialogue for. She’s sharp, sophisticated, attractive, and hilarious. You can see these qualities shine right from her first encounter with Jim at the Moonglow Club, like in this snippet:

A DALLE-3 rendering of the emcee at the Moonglow Club. He’s missing the mustache I asked for in my prompt.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome back to the Moonglow Club!” The emcee’s voice rings out over the speakers, drawing cheers and applause from the crowd. He is a tall, skinny man with slicked-back hair and a thin mustache, dressed in a tuxedo and a bow tie. He talks with a fast-paced, nasal accent that reminds me of a Walter Winchell-type radio announcer from the 1940s. “We have a special treat for you tonight, a swingin’ sensation that will make you groove and move, the Swinging Millers!” He points to the band behind him, who wave and grin. “They’re going to play some more of your favorite tunes from the golden age of swing, so get ready to boogie and have some fun! And now, without further ado, let’s give it up for the Swinging Millers!”

The emcee steps aside as the band starts playing “In the Mood”, a classic swing song that fills the air with energy and excitement. The dancers pair up and move to the beat, spinning and twirling on the dance floor. The emcee watches from the side, clapping his hands and nodding his head. He waits for the song to end before he goes back to the microphone.

“What a wonderful performance by the Swinging Millers! Let’s hear it for them!” The emcee’s voice rides the wave of applause washing over the crowd. “And they’re not done yet, folks. They have two more songs for you tonight, two more gems from the swing era that will make you swoon and sway. First up, we have the lively and spirited “Little Brown Jug”—a tune that’s all about joy, camaraderie, and those good times that call for a toast with friends. And then, we have the romantic ballad that will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”. So, grab your partner and get ready for some more swingin’ fun with the Swinging Millers!” He steps back as the band strikes up “Little Brown Jug”, its upbeat tempo and infectious rhythm a stark, yet delightful contrast to the earlier number. The dancers pick up the energy, their steps light and quick to match the bouncy spirit of the song.

I glance at Maddie and see that she has a flush on her cheeks and a sparkle in her eyes. She looks at me and smiles. Then she says, “Do you want to dance?”

“To ‘Little Brown Jug’?” I raise a skeptical eyebrow. “All you’ll get is your toes being stepped on – constantly. The rhythm is a bit too fast for me, I think.”

Maddie’s smile fades, as if a passing cloud had eclipsed the moon over Manhattan. The spark in her hazel eyes dims a bit as well. “Party pooper.”

“No, no. I’m just trying to save your toes from going home tonight all sore. They used to call me ‘Two Left Feet Jim’ in school.”

For some reason, Maddie finds that nickname amusing, and her smile, that bright, self-confident smile, returns – but not quite reaching her eyes. A trick of the lighting in the Moonglow, perhaps, or maybe it’s the two Heinekens I’ve consumed talking. But for a second there, I sense that odd feeling that characters in Raymond Chandler or Dashiell Hammett stories get when they get a visit from mysterious dames at their offices late at night.

“You? Danced in school?”

I shrug. “Yep.”

She laughs, half amused, half skeptical. “College? Or high school?”

 “College. I was too much of a high school – “

“Nerd?” she finishes for me, and I’m not sure if she’s being cute or if she was the type of girl in high school that looked down on boys like me – the grades-before-all-else, shy, and awkward guys usually depicted in the movies as uncool, comic relief characters who play second fiddle to the jocks and bad boys on campus.

I gaze at her, looking for any sign of disdain in her expression. There’s none.

“Yeah, you could say that. No, I took dance classes in college. Mom insisted. She said it would be good for me. You know, to socialize. And be a bit physically active.”

“I see,” she says, her distinctive patrician accent that is somehow fitting in this World War II-era themed nightclub a tad more pronounced thanks to that Sidecar she’s been drinking. Her eyelids droop a bit, like shades being dropped to conceal – something. “Mothers know best, after all.” She pauses a second, then her expression morphs back to inquisitiveness. “Where did you go to college?”

I look away from Maddie. I like her, I really do. But I don’t want to reveal too much about my past yet. I didn’t even tell her what I do for a living. It’s not that I’m ashamed of being a professor of history at Columbia or that my latest book was just published. I just want her to like me for who I am, not because I’m a B-list celebrity in my field.

Not wanting to antagonize her, I decide to make light of it.

“Ask me on our second date. After all, we’ve just met.”

She raises an eyebrow and gives me a mock-offended look.

“Who says this is a date? I just needed to rest my feet and quench my thirst,” she replies, her tone full of false indignation. “And who says there will be a second date? You haven’t even asked me to dance yet.”

The band plays “Little Brown Jug” with gusto, and the dancers join in with enthusiasm. Maddie and I watch from our table, tapping our feet and clapping our hands. She looks at me with a playful smile and says, “You know, this song is not so bad. It’s catchy and fun. And it’s not too fast for you, is it?”

I shake my head and say, “No, it’s not too fast for me. But it’s still not my favorite. I prefer something slower and more romantic.”

She cocks an eyebrow and says, “Oh, really? Like what?”

I shrug and say, “Like ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.’ That’s a beautiful song. It’s smooth and soothing. And it’s perfect for dancing close.”

She leans in and says, “Is that a hint?”

“Maybe.”

She laughs. “Well, maybe you’ll get your chance. The emcee said they’re going to play it next.”

I smile and nod. “Maybe they will.”

The song ends with a flourish, and the crowd erupts in applause. The emcee returns to the microphone and says, “Wow! What a wonderful performance by the Swinging Millers! Let’s give them another round of applause!” He leads the audience in cheering for the band. “And they’re not done yet, folks. They have one more song for you tonight, one more gem from the swing era that will make you fall in love all over again. It’s a romantic ballad that will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.’ So, grab your partner and get ready for some more swingin’ fun with the Swinging Millers!”

He steps back as the band starts playing “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”, a slow and tender song that fills the air with emotion. The dancers pair up and move to the rhythm, holding each other close on the dance floor. The emcee watches from the side, smiling and nodding his head. He says to the crowd, “Look at all these lovely couples dancing so sweetly. Don’t they look happy? Don’t you want to join them? Come on, folks. Don’t be shy. This is your chance to show your sweetheart how much you care. Or maybe to find a new sweetheart. You never know what can happen on a night like this at the Moonglow Club.”

Maddie grins enthusiastically. “Come on, Jim. It’s a slow dance. Just like you wanted.”

I look at her and say, “Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

She nods and says, “I’m sure. I want to.”

She takes my hand and pulls me up from my seat. She leads me to the dance floor and wraps her arms around me. I put my arms around her waist and pull her close. We sway to the music, feeling each other’s heartbeat.

As we dance, I catch a whiff of her perfume again. Jasmine and orange blossom. A familiar scent that evokes someone I loved long ago. Someone I lost. Someone I can’t forget.

I feel a pang in my chest and a flash in my mind. A face. A name. A memory.

But then it’s gone. Just like that.

I shake my head and tell myself it’s nothing. Just my nerves. Or the beer. Or the music.

I focus on Maddie. On her smile. On her eyes. On her voice.

She looks into my eyes and says softly, “You know what? I think this is a date after all.”

I look into her eyes and say softly, “You know what? I think you’re right.”

She grins. “And you know what else? I think you just earned yourself a second date.”

I smile and whisper, “And you know what else? I think I’m glad I did.”