Regret About Leaving NH: My Reflections

Late Afternoon, Wednesday, October 2, 2024, Madison, New Hampshire

It’s a chilly – 61°F (16°C) – afternoon in Madison’s Eidelweiss District on this, the second day of October 2024. The sky is somewhat gray and the light is getting dim, and I’m glad that I went out twice for brief walks on Huttwill Drive. It’s not unbearably cold, and I’m sure that had fate determined I’d stay here, I might have been able to adapt to the cold climate in upper New England.

Whether I’d have become accustomed to the isolation of living in a rural area – especially one where socializing, much less dating, is difficult and even shopping online feels like 2004 instead of 2024…that’s debatable. In my nearly 10 months in the Granite State, I’ve only said hi to a neighbor I don’t know once, and that was this afternoon when I was out on my second walk and briefly crossed paths with an attractive blonde pushing a baby carriage as she walked in the opposite direction. I didn’t introduce myself or anything – I’m too shy for that –  but I did say hello and look her in the eye. She smiled, returned the greeting, and that was it.  

Anyway, about adapting to New Hampshire….

I’m leaving in 16 days mainly because of the issues with the Other Tenant’s public assistance benefits. Health and Human Services either reduced or cut them off once they knew he wasn’t paying $1,200 monthly rent. When I applied for my benefits in March, I had to be on the lease, prove that I paid rent and my share of the utilities, and show that I was getting state assistance in Florida for disability.

Naturally, there are additional factors behind my departure: the longing for home, feelings of isolation, and a mix of irritations that might seem inconsequential to others but weigh heavily on me. Yet, I would have persevered and tried to overcome these if it weren’t for the problem of my name being attached to the lease.

Despite everything, my conscience remains at ease, knowing I did my utmost to fit in without intentionally causing friction. Even Other Tenant shared his sorrow over my departure, echoing what my friend Eric (also a high schoolmate) remarked in April: Rural New Hampshire might be beautiful to see, but it’s just too remote for someone like me.

Oh, and regarding the book I donated: While there’s a slim chance that the team at Conway Public Library might place Reunion: A Story in either the Teen Fiction or Adult Fiction sections, I have a sneaking suspicion that it will end up in one of the area’s Little Free Libraries instead. Yes, I checked; if I told you my ego didn’t care about the fate of my book, I’d be lying. I do have an ego – one that’s easily bruised, no less – and I’m quite concerned about where Reunion: A Story finds its home. It’s been with the library for several days now, and it still hasn’t appeared in the New Adult Fiction or New Teen Fiction sections on their online catalog.

Maybe if a local from Madison dialed up the library to ask for the book, they might think about putting it in their main collection. Still, I doubt that’ll happen. Plus, without a library card here—or anywhere for that matter—I can’t make the call myself to request it. And even if I did have a card, wouldn’t it be a bit odd to do so?

I’ll still be delighted if my book ends up in the Little Free Library program. Even if it reaches just one reader, that’s far better than not reaching anyone.

Meanwhile, for those who enjoy reading and consider themselves avid readers— many of my friends don’t read for leisure—I would be grateful if you purchased a copy of Reunion: A Story. According to Amazon, customers have described the book as a delightful read, noting it is poignant and beautifully narrated. They commend the writing as well-crafted and engaging, and appreciate the characters’ depth and personality. Additionally, your purchase will help me earn royalties, which will assist in covering the significant costs associated with my move back to South Florida.