More October Reveries

Friday, October 16, 2026 – Orlando, Florida

Tomorrow would have been my mom’s 98th birthday.

My feelings about that are, well, complicated.

She died 11 years ago in the South Florida townhouse we had called home for more than 37 years, after a long and painful struggle with dementia, depression, kidney problems, and the other indignities that plagued the last five or so years of her life.

I’m not much for the “heavenly birthday” thing. It’s just not me. And when I think about the last birthdays we celebrated together, between 2010 and 2014, I can’t exactly summon a montage of warm, happy memories. Dysfunctional families, especially those with narcissistic personalities in the mix, don’t always shine on commemorative occasions, and the small Miami branch of my family was no exception.

Still, I’m trying not to spend tomorrow dwelling on Mom’s painful and exhausting final years, or on how keenly I still feel her absence a decade and spare change after her death.

Those years were hard. Very hard. From the spring of 2010 until July 19, 2015, life seemed to specialize in trials and tribulations, and I don’t see much point in reopening that chapter just to prove that I remember how much it hurt. I remember.

What matters more is that I miss her. A lot.

And maybe that’s enough.

I try to keep my attention on the here and now. I try to keep writing, telling stories, putting something worthwhile into the world while I’m here. Maybe I can even leave it a little better than I found it.

After all, that’s what my mother would have wanted me to do.