The Art of the (Re)Deal, Deluxe Edition

The Art of the (Re)Deal, Deluxe Edition

A sardonic poem with upgraded irony

They marched from the chamber with triumphant appeal,
Declaring they’d mastered the Art of the Deal.
Peace papers signed, cameras flashing like stars,
A victory composed of footnotes and memoirs.

The war would be ending — a headline to savor —
Though the fine print suggested a different flavor.
For buried in clauses (font size: sub‑atomic),
Was the part where we hand back more assets — ironic,
Since we’d done this before in a deal from ’15,
But this time with interest and a sleeker sheen.

“Completely new framework,” the envoys insisted,
While accountants grew pale and economists twisted.
“It’s not like the last one — that one was quaint.
This one’s a masterpiece!” (If you don’t faint
At the line where we pay more than last time by far.)
A bargain so bold it loops back to bizarre.

But wait — what’s that buzzing, that diplomatic groan?
Lebanon chiming in on the conflict‑adjacent phone.
A “minor complication,” a wrinkle, a snag,
A reminder that peace can still come with a flag
Marked Some Assembly Required, batteries sold apart,
And a regional subplot that won’t stay off the chart.

And hovering above it, ambition surreal:
A hope that this moment — this shimmering deal —
Might earn certain leaders a prize of renown,
Since Forty‑Four got one early, with global acclaim crowned.
So Forty‑Seven dreams softly, “Well, why not me too?”
(History loves symmetry — sometimes déjà vu.)

Still, the press snapped their photos, the pundits waxed grand,
And the spin doctors spun like a turbine on command.
A triumph, they called it — a statesmanlike steal —
If you squint past the irony baked in the deal.
A bargain so circular it borders surreal,
A diplomatic ouroboros with mass appeal.

So raise a glass high to the art of accord:
To the assets returned, to the clauses ignored.
To the peace that arrives with a wink and a shield,
In the ever‑expanding Art of the Re‑Deal.