Old Gamers Never Die: ‘Regiments’ – It Wasn’t a Decisive Victory, But I’ll Still Take the Win


Yay. I finally earn a victory in Regiments after an annoying dry spell in which I lose Skirmishes based on the “Kill/Death Value Ratio” between Blue and Red. All game elements in screengrabs from Regiments are (C) 2022 Bird’s Eye Games and MicroProse.

“It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are the main thing. If they are on the other side, then this is a valuable bonus.”Terry Pratchett, Jingo

Well, it took a while. A longer while that I would have liked, honestly.

Overwatch: as a platoon of M1 Abrams tanks provides cover, a section of M3A2 Bradley Cavalry Fighting vehicles moves forward in a different Grasleben battle. The unit here is part of the 1st Brigade/3rd Armored Division.

After almost 10 days without a victorious Skirmish in MicroProse’s new real-time tactics game Regiments, I finally eked out a victory for the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment (ACR) against elements of the Soviet 120th Guards Motor Rifle Regiment (MRR) in the Battle of Grasleben, near the eponymous town in the district of Helmstedt, in Lower Saxony, Germany.

“To have reservations is to show true leadership. To have certainty without question, to lead people to battle with no qualms, or to prosecute without hesitation are qualities of a tyrant.”Laura Kreitzer, Abyss

In this pre-Skirmish page, players select which side they want to play, which unit they want to command, and how hard the difficulty level will be.

It was, like most of my battles in Regiments, a vicious, often confusing, and costly engagement. It was fought at night, and the Soviets decimated quite a few of my units; I lost two scout platoons, a third was badly mauled and was down to one M3A2 Bradley CFV by the end of the Skirmish. I also lost a mechanized infantry platoon, one M1A1 Abrams platoon, a mortar platoon, and a mobile surface-to-air (SAM) battery. Replacements were available – as were the points to deploy them – but still. It sucks to lose men and equipment.

Believe me, nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle won. – Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington

According to the After-Action Report, I captured five of eight Objective Zones and suffered “only” 174 casualties, while the Soviets lost 249. (See the graphic at the top of this blog post for the breakdown of losses on both sides.)

As far as vehicle losses are concerned, the 11th ACR lost 32 vehicles; the 120th Guards MRR lost 40.

Because I did not choose to call in a Task Force equipped with helicopters, I didn’t lose any. The Russians also did not deploy Mi-24 Hinds or Mi-8TV anti-tank variants of the Hip, so they lost none as well. They did lose one aircraft to my SAM battery before I lost it, but I got lucky and got off scot-free with no losses to my A-10A Thunderbolt II close air support (CAS) aircraft.

I didn’t think about taking a lot of screenshots of this specific Skirmish besides the After-Action Report screen, so I started another one in the Grasleben scenario and took a few snaps of the action early on, then quit because I didn’t want to play an entire game again. The weather here is hot, heavily overcast, and with thunderstorms in the region, so I don’t want to risk losing this not-yet-paid-for Lenovo PC to a lightning strike.

I know it’s not a major accomplishment by any means, but I’m glad I got another win in Regiments. Life here in the Tampa Bay area is…well, not as bad as it could be, but it’s also not as good as it was before 2020. I need something to cheer me up, and if getting a W on the Win-Loss column in a computer game does the trick, so be it.

Published by Alex Diaz-Granados

Alex Diaz-Granados (1963- ) began writing movie reviews as a staff writer and Entertainment Editor for his high school newspaper in the early 1980s and was the Diversions editor for Miami-Dade Community College, South Campus' student newspaper for one semester. Using his experiences in those publications, Alex has been raving and ranting about the movies online since 2003 at various web sites, including Amazon, Ciao and Epinions. In addition to writing reviews, Alex has written or co-written three films ("A Simple Ad," "Clown 345," and "Ronnie and the Pursuit of the Elusive Bliss") for actor-director Juan Carlos Hernandez. You can find his reviews and essays on his blogs, A Certain Point of View and A Certain Point of View, Too.

4 thoughts on “Old Gamers Never Die: ‘Regiments’ – It Wasn’t a Decisive Victory, But I’ll Still Take the Win

    1. I know, right, Schingle?

      I’d dislike “Regiments” if were childishly easy to win victories, as it would not be much fun if the game weren’t challenging. I’d like it a tad more, though, if its scoring system weren’t so unforgiving. (Then again, real war is far more unforgiving.)

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